Earlier this month I had the pleasure of speaking at SexTechTO, an intimate gathering of tech nerds who wanted to listen to me speak at length about technology and the sex toy industry. Here is a play by play of what happened that evening.

Technology has been in a long and intimate relationship with sex toys. Dating back to the 19th century Manipulator that aimed to treat women of their “female hysteria” technological advancements have been integral to our pleasure. Even the design of the modern dildo as we know it today has been around since the Paleoithic era when it was made of stone. Jumping ahead to Hamilton Beach selling the first handheld vibrators, I thought that was when tech had reached its peak in sex toys. All newer designs simply follow the original design of the handheld vibrator and dildo with a few minor changes such as colour, adding a motor, and adding a suction feature. At its core all these toys are essentially the same in design with the sole purpose of getting us to that ultimate orgasm. Honestly, why fix something that isn’t broken? Unless that something is a man, then just replace the unit.

The 21st century has welcomed the advent of artificial intelligence. You don’t need to look far for AI working. ChatGPT, CapCut, Photoshop’s AI editing, and even something as simple as Google’s search suggestion are all examples of AI. I’m all for making our lives easier with technology. I’m just here for whatever get me to cum as quickly as possible because a girl is busy.

A great example of AI in our sex toys is SyncMo. SyncMo is a software that integrates with your sex toys and your laptop so that whatever you’re watching on the screen, SyncMo mimics that movement on your toy. If you’re watching porn where the thrusting is hard and rapid, SyncMo mirrors that on to the toy to give you that fully immersive experience. That’s really fucking cool! I wonder if it can sync with a man calling me back after the first date. Doubt it.

Lovense and ChatGPT have partnered to make your sexperience more fun. Now you can ask ChatGPT to write you an erotic story as well as design a vibration pattern to match that story. Or you can ask it to make a vibration pattern to accompany you to the grocery store. You know, for any occasion that calls for a quick cum.

Technological advancements have done a lot of amazing things for our orgasm. It’s pretty unbelievable if you think about it, or as Arthur C. Clarke would call it, magical. But if we’ve learned anything about magic from the Harry Potter series, it’s that dark magic can also exist. What then is the darkness of AI?

You also don’t have to look too far with AI’s wrongdoings. Ever scrolled through TikTok? YouTube? Or even Pornhub? Then you’re probably familiar with rabbit-holing your way to each successive video. Algorithms embedded in these sites study your watch habits with the ultimate goal of keeping you on for as long as possible by constantly hitting you with shots of dopamine through some fun vide of a cat falling down or a guy rosebudding on screen. If you were in the audience that evening and you had trouble finding your prostate, you probably won’t have any more trouble now after you do a quick lookup on “rosebudding.” These constant hits of happiness are designed to be addicting and you eventually lose track of time. What is the cost of your orgasm now?

AI and advanced technology can be seen through sex dolls. The last time I was at the Everything To Do with Sex Show, I saw a man chilling on a couch wearing a trucker hat, a denim jacket, cargo shorts, and sporting a huge erection. Naturally, my homosexual tendencies wanted to get a closer look and possibly his number. As I approached the man, something gave me pause. Why wasn’t he blinking? Why was he just looking straight in to space? It wasn’t until I was about ten feet close to him did I realize that the man was a doll. Basically I cried in the bathroom thinking I was about to flirt with an inanimate object.

You think that’s fucked up? Have you heard of Harmony the sex robot? Harmony is the robot concocted by the minds of Real Doll, a company that specializes in sex dolls. In their demo video, you can see Harmony interacting with the user with human-like facial expressions and lifelike real time verbal responses. One user was interviewed live on the air claiming he has fallen in love with Harmony and plans on marrying it. Notice how I use “it” and not “her.” I feel like it’s a slippery slope once I start giving inanimate objects pronouns. I refuse to let the robots take over! Hopefully Asimov was right.

In my personal opinion, we stand on the precipice of uncertainty when it comes to technology and sex toys. What exactly is the aim of AI in sex? What ends is it trying to achieve? Is the goal of AI human improvement or human replacement? If I, Robot or The Matrix movies have constantly reminded us about one thing, it’s that technology, when put in the hands of the wrong people, can be dangerous. I don’t want to live in a world where I constantly have to think about everything I interact with needs to pass the Turing test. I can barely pass a urine test.

This discussion opened up some interesting questions from the audience. Here’s a few from the Q&A.

You said developers have one thing in mind when it comes to production: customer satisfaction. Who is liable when it comes to the dangers of AI? The developers of the customers who allow it to happen?

I personally think that it should be the creators who are responsible. When you look at the main demographic of STEM, it’s dominated by straight white men. No wonder why most sex dolls are female presenting with huge tits and a way too cavernous vagina. Or when hand drys favour detecting white skin over black skin. They know what they’re doing even if their goal is “customer satisfaction.” AI is only as smart as its creators and if those creators hold that kind of power, they need to be regulated or at the very least taught how to wield it responsibly.

What are the social implications of sex dolls? Can it really lead to a lack of consent skills and increase the likelihood of sexual violence?

On the surface, not much. You look at these dolls and you are allowed to live your fantasy in ways that care normally considered taboo or inhumane. But it wouldn’t matter since it’s a doll. But therein lies the problem, I think. Does a doll teach you how to negotiate? How to consent? How to have conversations about boundaries? Will that actually enable harmful behaviour in its users? Possibly. I mean, I’ve played so much GTA where I think I got an achievement for stealing an insane number of cars and shooting so many prostitutes. But does that mean that I actually want to steal and murder? Absolutely not. The game is a simulation meant to portray a work of fiction. Sex dolls can serve as that avenue for dangerous fantasies and kinks. But I think it should be a reminder that these dolls have to be treated only as dolls and not serve as a replacement to humans.

Is it possible that our apprehension of fully embracing AI comes from a place of fear and puritanical beliefs much like how homosexuality used to be frowned upon?

I will admit that this question threw me into a tailspin. Am I scared of AI being part of the sex toy industry because that fear is actually rooted in me being a prude? Holy shit, dude. I don’t know. I’m all for sex positivity and sexual liberation, and the last thing I want to be is a prude considering my profession. But damn, I don’t know if I’m being prudish. I hope not. I’m not the robotics professional and can only speak from the POV of a sexuality professional. Because sex is my forte, I will always be on the side of human sexual expression portrayed in a healthy way. That includes the use of sex dolls. I just hope that expression doesn’t come at the expense of replacing us.

I don’t know where technology takes us from here. I’m not going to say that everything will be fine because it won’t be, and there’s evidence of that all around us. If technology keeps advancing at this rate, then we are not that far away from the Singularity and robots completely take over and replace humans. I’m also not going to say that everything is turning to shit because there’s also evidence of humans using technological advancements for good. Machine learning can be observed in the medical field when helping diagnose illnesses or formulating drug treatments. What I will say is that we as a collective human race need to be careful when wielding such power and being careful that power isn’t placed in the wrong hands. Who those hands belong to are an entirely different conversation. I’m more concerned about robots obeying Isaac Asimov’s first rule of robotics and if there’s a robot out there willing to violate that first rule on my pussy.