Review: Good Luck to You, Leo Grande
“I don’t solicit money for sex. I sell my company. I provide interesting conversation. I can dance, I can mix 20 different cocktails. Whether or not we have sex is our business. There’s nothing illegal about that. I mean, as well as the blow jobs it’s also quite nice to get to know each other.”
In Good Luck to You, Leo Grande almost the entire movie is set in a quaint hotel room with Emma Thompson as Nancy Stokes, an educator who has recently lost her husband who is also the only sexual partner she’s ever had, and Daryl McCormack, the suave and breathtaking titular sex worker whom Nancy hires to help her achieve her first orgasm.
I want to commend Emma Thompson and Daryl McCormack for their excellent portrayal of a relationship that is almost always overlooked due to social stigma and taboo. For a movie that is so bare bones I really enjoyed how much heart they put in to just a month of filming. Movies like this normally require an intimacy coordinator, so it is very impressive that Thompson and McCormack went method so they wouldn’t need one. For the whole month of filming they walked to set together, went home together, had dinner together, and went to sleep in the same bed together. The developing closeness of this relationship really shines in the movie. Most of all, I appreciate the fact that they consulted with real sex workers instead of just scrolling through some TikTok to help get an in-depth POV of the life of a sex worker. Here’s what McCormack had to say:
“It was vitally important that we spoke to real sex workers. There's a beautiful exposition of the capacity of sex work in this film and I thought as an actor, I really did want to speak to sex workers and for me, it was just important that I listened to them and listened to their stories and naturally just who they were as people just really affected me. I was really inspired by their sense of self and the power and the boundaries that they've created to really add value in the work that they do. And so I just really wanted to carry that essence into Leo and let them just inspire my portrayal of him.”
It’s also important to note that it’s impossible to portray every aspect of sex work because our experiences are so diverse, but it was their goal to show at least one experience and hope it resonates with a lot of people. And that’s all we can ask of them, and they delivered it beautifully.
I first want to preface this review to say that I am not, I repeat, not a movie reviewer. I am not going to give this movie some sort of rating or recommend whether or not you should watch it. I’m simply going to attempt to convey my thoughts and emotions, while trying my best to avoid spoilers, with regards to how this movie portrays sex work and the relationship sex workers have with their clients. Secondly, I speak from the point of view of a semi-retired sex worker. For those of you who didn’t know, I was an escort from 2012 to 2016. I consider myself semi-retired because every one in a blue moon an old client will reach out to me. This movie spoke to me with its lightheartedness on sex without the clichés of girl power and body positivity. TLDR; I enjoyed it, and here’s why.
From the very beginning of the movie, we see Nancy absolutely riddled with anxiety. She is so hesitant in hiring a sex worker that she’s befuddled to the point of uncertainty thinking that hiring Leo was a mistake. In an understandable attempt to sabotage the experience, she bombards him with questions like “Do you enjoy this?” or “Don’t you feel demeaned?” or “Am I…a disappointment, so to speak?” When I had clients who have hired an escort for the first time, I was interrogated with questions just like this, almost to a T. It brought me back to a time when I had first seen a client who has never had sex with another man. He asked so many questions that I had to constantly help ground him because I didn’t want to waste his money on a session that’s all questions. Giving in to different forms of pleasure can be a scary experience. It’s the unknown. We don’t know if we’re going to like it, so we do our very best to protect ourselves from every angle.
In the course of the four sessions with Leo and Nancy, we gradually see her open up and how their relationship grows in this sort of beautiful and nuanced dynamic. A heavy toll that’s paid in the sex worker-to-client relationship is the emotional tax placed on all parties involved. Nancy grows more fond of Leo to the point where she wants to know who he is outside of being a sex worker. Her curiosity gets the better of her and decides to cyberstalk Leo’s real identity because she wants to “personalize it if it’s gonna be a regular thing.” This is a huge violation in boundaries. As you’ll hear lots of sex workers say, we are selling a fantasy. I didn’t use my first name because I needed to get in a certain headspace to sell an experience that the client paid for, and I couldn’t do that had I used my name. Clients are human, and curiosity is a natural instinct. This is not to excuse a violation of boundaries, but rather it’s to provide an explanation. It’s still not okay.
Sex is an emotionally-loaded activity. Endorphins and dopamine and serotonin rushing through our system. We can’t really fault our heart for wanting what it wants due to the trust that’s been built. I’ve had clients fall in love with me, I’ve received marriage proposals, and I’ve even been written in the will of one client who passed away. This is the only exception I’ve ever made in revealing my real name because he and I shared something special. A topic for another blog. I understand that it’s easy to want to know more about us because we shared something special even if it’s paid. I also understand that our brain tries to fill in the gaps when information is missing. With that in mind, I needed to keep reinforcing to many of my clients that our professional bond is something that I treasure and that I would not have wanted that tainted should I reveal my real name and ruin the fantasy. Watching Leo storm out of the hotel room because Nancy violated a boundary spoke to me because I would have done the same. If you’re reading this and thinking of hiring a sex worker, please know that we use a fake name more so out of respect and confidentiality, not because we’re lying or ashamed.
Nancy calls Leo for one final session to make amends for the previous issue. She thanks Leo for helping her discover the power of sexual fulfillment and recommends his services to her circle of friends. They share one last passionate session where she finally gets an orgasm. Nancy sends Leo off to tell him she no longer needs his services. Alone in her hotel room, she admires her fully naked body. A big kudos to Emma Thompson for showing us how sexy our bodies can be at any age. I knew that this was a terrifying scene for her, so everyone give Emma her flowers. This quiet and gentle scene is the most powerful of all because it highlights the journey that a once shameful and repressed religious education teacher goes through to open herself up to pleasure, so to speak.
Sexual liberation is enormously powerful and freeing because of how good it makes you feel which, in turn, makes you want the same for others. Wanting others to feel pleasure is not just said in a sexual sense. Pleasure can come in the form of social justice or financial aid or wanting what’s best for yourself. Sex is an important aspect of our lives because everything around us is rooted in our sexual satisfaction. Yes, even if you’re asexual. Your sexual appetite being sated is connected to how well you can feel in your environment. It’s through this lens that we can see the importance of sex workers and how much help they can provide to those struggling with shame and repression. If our world leaders were getting laid 24/7, I can guarantee that we will see the end of war, famine, and sickness.
