Can Straight People Call Themselves Queer?

Queer

Aug 22

I was casually minding my own business on the apps being my gay ass self, until I matched with a cute guy. If you know how any dating app with a matching method works, then you know. If not, then basically you match with someone only if you both “swipe right” or “like” each other. Only then will you know that you two matched.

So I liked this guy’s photo because I thought his shirt was cute, then I find out we matched. This means that he liked my profile first. When I did a little more reading in to his profile, in his sexual identity section he noted down “straight.” Naturally, I got curious. Why would a straight guy like my profile? And why is a straight guy on a queer dating app to begin with? I put on my Sherlock hat. I asked him what he was doing on this app and why he matched with me, and out he spews this nonsense.

I’ve heard a lot of bullshit in my life, but this takes the cake.

A straight guy calling himself queer?! In what fucking world is that right?!

Let’s do a little bit of critical thinking here, babe. I’m trying to empathize with this straight man to see what made him think this was okay. The dictionary definition of the word is strange or odd. It’s peculiar, eccentric, unconventional, and different. Basically, something you don’t normally see. If his musical taste and fashion sense are what make him queer, then by all means call yourself queer.

I stalked his Instagram, and there’s nothing queer, in this usage, weird, about this guy. Surprise, surprise. The queerest thing about him is wearing a Tom and Jerry shirt and taking a selfie with a cop. Weird indeed.

Maybe he doesn’t know the context of the word used in a pejorative sense. The word has been used derogatorily to describe anyone who isn’t cisgender or straight since the late 19th century, like during Oscar Wilde’s trial. If a word used in that context has existed long enough and still used to this day to insult people like me to put us down, then what other fucking reason could this straight guy have to call himself that word?

I guess walking in the village to rant and gossip is all you need to be considered queer these days! (In his defense those are very gay things to do.)

Listen here, my guy, you exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you. You are a straight guy. Straight men are the primary aggressors in using this word to harm people like me. So why are you, again, a straight white guy, co-opting this word? Do you wanna call yourself the N-word too? Since I guess we’re all just ignoring context and calling ourselves any fucking thing we want now.

You have never been exposed to harm because of your sexual orientation or gender. You have never been assaulted because of the way you choose to express yourself. And you have never, and will never experience the struggle of the queer community. So no, you can’t use that word. Words have meaning, and you would think that someone who is studying computer science would be smart enough to understand context.

And for all of my dear readers who are thinking if I continued talking to him, this is literally the end of the conversation. But just as a treat, let me show you what he replied when I simply asked, “How are you doing?”