Fuck Me Into Open Caskets
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and as an Aquarius, that’s both a blessing and a curse. I was getting high one day and put on some hip hop playlist just because I wanted to vibe and escape reality for a few hours. The song Lost by Chance the Rapper ft. Noname came on, and there was a line that stuck out to me in the third verse which is what this blog is titled after.
“I blessed myself inside your arms one day
Swear to God there I was when the dress
And the silver buttons fade away
Miss Mary Mattress, geriatrics
Fuck me into open caskets, I wanna die with this”
I’m pretty sure that the song has little to do with what I’m going to talk about considering that most of the song makes parallels between drug use and relationships, but that’s for another blog post. I want to focus on the “caskets” part of the song because the imagery there is so real for me; Imagine being fucked so well that you carry that orgasm with you until the day you die. Mmm, if only I can find some man to satisfy me that way. Sadly no such man exists and it looks like I’m going to have to masturbate my dick off until the day I die. I’m not going to fixate on this song too much, but I just wanted to use that as a segue in to what I really want to talk about: sex and death, or at least the concept of our mortality and how it affects our sex lives.
I’m currently writing this post after five vodka sodas, so hopefully you can follow my train of thought. This is the wreckage part of this blog after all. As someone who partakes in cannabis consumption on the off-chance it comes up, I like to complement my experience with some Rick and Morty. It’s quite the show if you haven’t had the chance to watch it. In one of the episodes, Rick and Morty come across a magical object known as “death crystals” that allow the bearer to see how and when they’re going to die. Because of the vision he sees in his ideal death scenario Morty makes a bunch of absolutely chaotic decisions that lead to him to one day dying in the arms of the girl he’s in love with no matter the cost, which includes taking the lives of innocent civilians and possibly taking on the form of an apocalyptic creature from another realm. This brings up an excellent point in how we view life, or rather the end of it, and how that point of view can dictate the life we live now. Knowing that you’re one day going to die sucks, but it doesn’t have to be.
Famous Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard talks about death ad nauseam in his book The Sickness Unto Death. I’m not even going to try to pronounce the original title, but I’m sure it’s pretty bad ass. In the book he talks about “despair” which basically means we’re stressed all the time because we’re aware of all the things that life has to offer such as vacations, falling in love, or career successes, and we have to maintain all this administrative work like eating and exercising and doing the laundry all while knowing that we are one day going to be buried six feet under. We live in this present moment while also being aware of literally an infinite future which includes an infinite amount of ways that we might die. That fucking sucks. No thanks. Hard pass. Next.
Can you imagine being stuck in this bubble trying to shield yourself from every single danger and risk from the world? How goddamn boring! You start to make all these choices trying to prolong your life and being paranoid all the time that you might die when you make a wrong turn. You’re not living life at that point. You’ve lost all sense of your humanity. That’s what happened in Rick and Morty. Rick says, “People that spend their life avoiding death are already dead.” Morty was aware of how he was going to die and dictated his life in a way that kept him from all other unfavorable consequences. He missed out on all the other fun possibilities that life has to offer.
Fast forward to the end of the episode, if you weren’t distracted by all the fancy animations and the unadulterated cartoon violence, the lesson to take away from Rick and Morty is to live in the moment. Easier said than done, right? Well I can tell you right now that I’m the least qualified person to tell anyone to live in the moment considering I dissociate from reality like 96.7% of my waking hours. What I can say from what I can remember in my marijuana-induced emotional spiral is that living in the moment means you can think about what the future might hold while simultaneously thinking about what’s happening right in front of you. It’s this weird and crazy balancing act of knowing you’re going to die and what you’re going to do about it.
You get asked out by some guy that’s not exactly your type, but you turn him down because you’re holding out for someone who barely knows you exist. You refuse to buy that plane ticket to your dream destination because you have some irrational fear of a malfunctioning left phalange. You refrain from buying that sexy little outfit because you think people will look at you in disgust. What an absolutely awful way to live! I would rather someone actually kill me than wake up another day obsessing over the infinite awful possibilities that could fuck up my morning. Let me offer a weird solution. Write this down because it’s gonna be a complicated one. Ready?
Get over it.
Maybe instead of fixating over the billions of possibilities of the future, maybe focus on one thing and live by that? In other words, stop wondering on what ifs and focus on what’s in front of you now.
“Life’s what you make it, so let’s make it rock”
What are Chance the Rapper, Rick and Morty, and Kierkegaard all trying to tell us here? Now this may be up for interpretation, so I may be wrong, in which case…fight me. But what I’m getting from the above pop culture phenoms is that we need to live life in a way that we do things that give our own lives meaning. Do the things that you want that make you happy instead of living in fear of something that we don’t know is gonna happen. Why would you be scared of dying if you haven’t died yet? Once you can grasp the fact that there are many unknowns in this lifetime that we can’t control, we can then start to embrace the things we can control like our ability to buy that stranger across the bar a drink or go out and train for that 5k you’ve always wanted to try or even get yourself a new pair of shoes that you were scared would make your ass look fat. Although to be honest, aren’t fat asses the “in” thing right now?
So what does all this have to do with sex? Accept that you’re going to die one day, so fuck it, I’m going to ask him to come over and suck my dick. I’m not going to be afraid of rejection any longer, so I’m going to shoot my shot and ask that man out on a romantic date. I don’t care about what other people think because I know there are worse things to worry about than someone else’s perception of me, so I’m going to buy a leather harness and pup mask because who gives a shit besides me. I’m going to tell this man to pull out because I deserve better sex other than this stranger I found at the grocery store who barely knows how to toss a proper salad because great sex is in line with who I am and my values. Life is too fucking short to have shitty sex and settle for less.
I know I’m going to die. I know our time on this Earth is extremely limited. I’m not asking you to do some death-defying daredevil stunt. I’m not asking anyone to start looking at death in the eye and telling it to come and get us. But what I am asking is for people to stop being so scared or nervous or anxious about the things that aren’t really worth giving a flying fuck. I’m asking you to stop doing the shit that makes you a miserable loser and start doing the things that make you happy. Stop playing these hard-to-get games and start fucking me into open caskets.
Also, go to therapy.
“Everybody dies, but not everybody lives.”
