Kumusta Tita Slut,

I’ve been single for such a long time now that I fee like I’m out of practice. I’m almost 30 years old, and my last boyfriend was in high school. Now with the pandemic, it seems more difficult finding a new man. Luckily, I made a connection with this really hot bus driver that I got acquainted with on my commute to work. We’ve been seeing each other for a few months now, and things are going well. He makes me happy, and the sex is great! We haven’t had the talk yet. We haven’t said “I love you” to each other, and we didn’t say we’re exclusive. I don’t know what to call it, so I can’t call him my boyfriend. Just someone I’m dating, I guess.

I work in the city where there are a lot of healthcare workers. Next door to my job is a physiotherapy clinic where I regularly go for massages. The masseur is so hot. Plus he gets the knots out really well. And before you say anything, no Tita. We have not had sex. Although we flirt every now and then over Snapchat like sexting and sending nudes. It gets me excited and a turned on. The problem is that I feel like it’s cheating. I know I’m not in a relationship, but why do I feel guilty about this? Should I tell the Driver that I have a Masseur working out my knots? Do I need to have a conversation with the Driver?

Please tell me what to do.

Signed with Love,

Virgo Sun

Hi Virgo Sun,

First of all, SINCE HIGH SCHOOL?! Oh my GAHD! I don’t think I could go that long without having sex. I need to be pounded like raw dough at the bakery on a Sunday afternoon sale at least once a month. Used to be once a week, but Tita has back problems now.

Okay, next let’s talk about your relationship with Driver. Congrats for putting yourself out there after all this time! I know it can be difficult because you’re so out of practice, but God bless bus drivers wearing fitted shirts to make it easier for us. The first thing you need to do right now is ask yourself what you want. Do you actually want a relationship, or do you just wanna fuck around? Both are fine, but the sooner you know this for yourself, the easier it will be to make that decision.

Next thing you need to do is to be honest to Driver about Masseur. You need to tell him that you’re flirting and that you’re interested in fucking him. This is probably gonna be a hard conversation and things will get awkward, but whoever said this shit was easy. “Pero Titaaaa….” No! No buts! Put on your big girl pants, approach him, and tell him! Hay nako we really are children even if our bodies are grown. Sit down with him and talk about your boundaries, define your relationship, and have that sincere empathetic conversation. Once you can define your relationship, whatever that may be, you can take the next steps forward with Masseur.

Which brings me to my next point: does Masseur know that what he’s doing is kind of illegal? Y’know…the whole client/service provider relationship? Hahaha, who am I kidding?! I have fucked more politicians in my lifetime in a public restroom than I can count. Lesson I learned: don’t get caught. So let’s say you and Driver agree that this is nothing, it’s really casual, and you’re allowed to see other people. Great! Get that dick on the down low. Ask Masseur for that guilt-free pussy shiatsu on your next appointment! But if you and Driver agree to go steady, you have to cut ties with Masseur. Period. Point blank. End of sentence. Tapos na. Only then will your sexy fun times outside of the relationship agreements be considered cheating.

Honesty is hard, and not the kind of hard I enjoy on a Friday night. But we owe it to each other and ourselves to be honest about our wants and needs. “What do I want for myself?” and “What do I want out of this connection?” are two great questions that can help jumpstart that conversation that will lead to a more satisfying sex life.

Now go out there and be the puta that you have always wanted to be!

Mahal kita,

Tita Slut