I Want to Be Alone
Kumusta Tita Slut,
Happy Pride! That’s kind of what I wanted to bring up. I feel neither happiness nor pride at the moment. I’m in a relationship with a guy. Literally everything clicks so far. He’s the kindest guy ever, and I’m afraid to lose him.
I also want to be single. I’ve been single for ten years before meeting him, and now I crave the peace of waking up every morning without having anyone next to me. That isolated feeling is addicting.
What’s wrong with me?
Sincerely,
Sadly Taken
Hey Sadly,
Holy textbook psychopath, Batman! What really is wrong with you? Just kidding. I get that need to be a hermit too. Like literally cottagecore the fuck out of my body; leave me out in the woods away from any cell towers and let me live off the land until I die from some new form of zoonotic pox. But I digress.
Okay. Brass tacks. Why are you even in a relationship? What is he giving you? I have a feeling his dick is huge. I’m right, yeah? Doesn’t sound like there’s any emotional connection here, so he must be good in bed. If that’s the case, can I join? Y’all looking for a lonely third with a plethora of mental health issues to make the sex a little spicy?
I think you need to interrogate yourself and really ask the question, “What am I doing here?” What are you getting out of the relationship that makes you insecure about losing him? I once had twin brothers at the same time, and in the middle of our threesome they made me choose; one of them or none of them.
As much as I love getting freaky with some twincest, I would rather jack off by myself than deal with someone’s drama about especially when that someone is a pair of hot twins who gave me an ultimatum mid-fuckery. I’m not saying that I’m comparing your dilemma to my threesome Sophie’s choice, but I’m also saying that I chose what benefitted me most. What made me the happiest. So I took the one with the better head game.
There’s a couple ways that we can approach your situation. The first one, and I’m gonna come right out and say it, is that you break up with him. You seem to want, nay, crave the single lifestyle, and that’s great! No shame in being single. Hell, I’ve been single for so long my ring finger is a virgin again because it hasn’t been inside anything in years. If being single makes you happy, you should pursue it by all means. Fuck what he feels. Men can kick rocks. Let him cry. As a deity once sang, “Up in the club, we just broke up, I'm doing my own little thing.”
Don’t feel pressured to stay in a relationship because you feel some sort of external pressure. If you’re being held hostage in this relationship, blink twice for “yes.” Once? Okay. Just making sure. I think we as a society have conditioned people in to thinking that a relationship is the ultimate goal with making children and that white picket fence in the suburbs to match the “aLL aMeRiCaN dReAm” or some bullshit like that. Don’t fall for it. It’s a lie. Children are gross. College is expensive. And say goodbye to your sex life. I don’t know how old you are, but enjoy whatever decade you’re in now because it only comes once. Yes, I know how that’s a sex joke.
Now the other option is to tell him you need space. I can’t tell you how many relationships of mine ended because they didn’t give me space. God, why are men literally made of cling wrap? Get the fuck off me! Just because I need space it does not mean that I want to break up. I just have days where I want to be touched like a pregnant woman on her third trimester — with unsolicited physical contact and no consent — and there are days when I want everyone raptured so I can be all alone in this hellscape of a planet. A couple living in a two-bedroom apartment so we each have our own bed? The dream!
Tell him you need space if that’s what you really need. Make physical space between the two of you. That might mean asking him to move out or for you to find your own space. Besides, waking up next to somebody every morning is so overrated. I’m not kissing no morning breath bullshit no matter how kickass you are in the sack. I treasure my boundaries more than anyone on this planet, including my own mother. If people can’t respect that, then maybe they’re not worth having around. If your man can’t respect your boundaries (if you make it known that you need your space) then leave him!
Finally, you can just suffer in silence. No, seriously. If you would rather write your feelings to some deranged old woman with an unhinged access to an advice column and a burgeoning substance abuse problem where most substances are not legal even in the city of Amsterdam, then you need to find yourself a good therapist. You can continue to have your boundaries being crossed because you didn’t tell him you need space, and you can grow to resent him. That way you’ll never be afraid of losing him because you’ve successfully lied to yourself in to thinking that you need this relationship, and you’ve become your own relationship jailer! Woo!
Our happiness, our sanity, our health, our boundaries, whatever all those look like, are the most important things that we have for ourselves. We cannot sacrifice that even for the sake of saving a relationship. The most important relationship that you have at the end of the day is the one that you have with yourself. After I fucked the more well-blessed twin, did you think I was happy? Sure not! I just needed to get a hole filled. But little did I know that the hole that needed filling was the one in my cold, sad, gay heart. Being in relationships don’t make me happy and neither does impassionate and uncaring sex. I want to be single and have fuck buddies who care about me and I care for them. You might want the same thing? Just putting that out there?
I know that I’m putting all these assumptions out there, but one can only imagine based on a little letter. You might be craving physical space. You might be craving alone time. You might even be craving less intimacy. I don’t know. I’m just shooting in the dark here. Literally. My the power went out as I was filming for my OnlyFans. Whatever it is that you’re craving, make it known and go after it. And if other people don’t like it, well, kick them really hard in the groin and run as fast as possible in the other direction. That will surely keep you single and out of arm’s length for a while.
Mahal kita,
Tita Slut
